In Memoriam (part 2)

My maternal grandmother, whom I called Popo but was Ah Tai to my children, was the best person in the world... according to my husband.. She was indeed a great person.. As far as I know, she was brought up by an aunt.. and in her days, girls were taught the basics of servitude... if the girl was fortunate, she gets married and she would serve her husband and children.. if she was less fortunate she would be a servant in a rich household and there she would attend to everyone.. My Grandma was fortunate to be married to Grandpa who could afford whatever she wanted.. But Grandma was a modest woman who was satisfied with having a roof over her head, enough to eat and decent clothes to wear..
I have only seen her in Chinese samfu, a blouse that's like a shortened cheongsam paired with black trousers. I think she ever wore a Qibao once.. not too sure of that though.. when she ironed her clothes, they were always folded in the same manner such that they were all the same size, whether it's the trousers or the blouse, and they fit exactly into the drawer..
People have claimed that their floor is clean enough to eat-off of; but Grandma's toilet floor is really that clean... Everyday she would wash the floor scrubbing it with soap, then washing it off with lots of water, then mopping it dry with a cloth... it literally sparkled.. The bathroom floor wasn't so clean.. she doesn't mop it dry because someone would use it and it'd get wet, so no point drying it out.. The kitchen floor wasn't as clean either.. she doesn't scrub this everyday, just mop.. There was always the twice a year routine of washing the whole house... during school holidays when a whole bunch of us grandchildren stayed over.. All of us had to pitch in... take out all the furniture into the garden.. scrub the floor of the whole house, kitchen included, then mop dry.. This was something we kids would do for Grandma.
Grandma endeared herself to everyone, friends of her children, neighbours, and also to my husband who simply loved her assam fish.. And so it happened one day... my daughter was sick and after a visit to the doctor, we went to my mother's house but daughter was throwing up food and medicine so we went back to the doctor again.. Just as we left, Grandma arrived at mother's house and was upset that she missed seeing her latest greatgrandchild.. That evening we got the call from Auntie Nene that Grandma collapsed in the bathroom.. they sent her to the hospital where the doctors told us she had a massive stroke and would not survive... My uncle decided to bring her home where she died a few days later..
At this time I was pregnant with my second child and since I have a young daughter to care for, I was practically left out of all the funeral proceedings.. My husband always boast of his part in keeping the candles burning, saying he talked to Grandma and asked her to let the candles burn... It seemed that when others tried to light the candles, they just keep toppling over... a sign??
As for the funeral day, everything went on okay and there was a lot of tears and wailing when the coffin went into the pyre.. I don't think there was anything out of the ordinary but there were a lot of sadness and all those who were there loved her a lot.

After Grandma's death, there were two more that followed although I'm not quite sure of the dates.. One was Uncle Boon, mother's youngest brother and the other was Uncle Charlie, Auntie Nene's husband.. Uncle Boon was a divorcee when he died in his girlfriend's house.. Having only his two young kids to do the rites, the wake was held at Singapore Casket to make things simple.. They performed the Christian (Roman Catholic) service for him and the funeral was simple.. Uncle Boon was known as Uncle Magic to my daughters and their cousins.. he does simple magic tricks whenever there was a gathering.. birthdays, Chinese New Year...
Uncle Charlie died in Perth, Australia and most of us in Singapore couldn't attend the funeral.. I knew Uncle Charlie well, having spent six months in Perth living with Auntie Nene and him.. They didn't have a child then.. I loved his cooking and I liked the way he would sneak off with the pineapple tarts I made because Auntie Nene would scold him for eating so much of it.. They later had a son.. known affectionately (to my daughters) as Uncle Bob ..
There were more deaths in the family but that will have to wait.... it's too depressing...

QUE SERA SERA.....

In Memoriam (part 1)

One of the earliest funerals I attended was for my paternal grandmother whom I called Mama.. She was of Peranakan descent and I had only seen her in sarongs with a simple cotton baju for her every-day wear. But when she needed to travel she would put on her Sunday best:- sarong starched so crisp that it crackled when she wore it; and she would not sit down after putting it on because it would crease and stick out in front (a very funny sight) . Her top would be the best kebaya with embroidery on the edges and she would fasten this with a krosang.. a set of three brooches attached together by a chain.. this is now a coverted collectible. She would also fasten her sarong with a silver belt that had an ornate buckle.. also a collectible item.
She usually stayed with Uncle Ah Pek but would spend about three months in a year with us... Every morning she would do her excercise.. Face the window, which happened to face east, raised her arms and bend forward.. looked like she's praying to the Sun-God! Then she would rotate her arms round and round.. looked like she's trying to take off!! Very Funny!!
She was my grandfather's second wife.. I don't know what happened to the first wife, all I know was that there were two daughters. Mama gave birth to 3rd Auntie, the Uncle Ah Pek, then 4th Auntie, 5th Auntie, 6th Auntie, 7th Auntie, 8th Auntie, then came Father... I guess they wanted more than one son.
Now all these children were married by the time Mama passed away (in 1978) at the ripe old age of 89 years.. Can't say that we missed her or were sad or shocked that she died.. She was old! and she had more than 50 grandchildren and quite a lot of great-grandchildren.. we lost count!
So why am I telling all this?? One of the funeral rites that was performed involved all the descendents going over a "bridge" in rank and file... oldest son Ah Pek first; second son (my) Father; oldest grandson Robert; 1st daughter-in-law; 2nd daughter-in-law; then daughters; then son-in-laws; then grandchildren; then great-grandchildren... you get the picture.. Now if all of us were to fall in line and follow the monks and go over the "bridge".. it would take forever.. there's more than a hundred... so we opted to just get representatives.. still there were more than 50 people in the line!! My cousin and I were counting!
On the day of the funeral, there was this band that played Chinese music and somehow they managed to massacre all the tunes... This wasn't the worst part of it.. The funeral was held in the void deck and it was hot because there were a lot of banners and blankets strung up and blocking whatever breeze there was.. And the older group of people (sons, daughters, son-in-laws, daughter-in-laws) had to wear extra clothing that's like burlap.. itchy and hot... BUT to top it all.. there were the gongs-and-cymbals group that came and CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG for more than 20 minutes!! Together with the reverberation... it was the longest torture.... I think that's why I'm partially deaf now! My father's face was like Justice Bao.. Black!
After that, the coffin was loaded onto the hearse and the clanging resumed so that the whole neighbourhood can come out to watch and see how grand the funeral was!!

Another "grand" funeral I attended was for the father of one of my trainees... This was in 1976 or 77... it was the first wake I attended as an adult and silly me did not know what to do... I went to the wrong end of the tent and lit joss-sticks to the dieties instead of paying my respects to the deceased.. Anyway I sat with the other trainees that were there and left about an hour later... On the day of the funeral, the other trainees had asked for permission to attend and I was ordered to go with them.. to make sure that they were not "skiving".. So there we were, a whole bunch of people in uniform and the "funeral directors" knew an opportunity when they see one... They got all of us in front of the hearse, holding on to 2 ropes that was attached to the sides of the hearse... it looked like we were pulling the vehicle... and with all the clanging, everybody came out to look and they all went WAAHH... The best part of this story is that the funeral started off at Bras Basah Road, then turn into Desker Road... All the prostitutes poked their heads out to see the young men in uniform... A few of the trainees tried to hide their faces!! Hahaha!!
BOOM! CHAKALAKA BOOM! BOOM!