In Memoriam (part 1)

One of the earliest funerals I attended was for my paternal grandmother whom I called Mama.. She was of Peranakan descent and I had only seen her in sarongs with a simple cotton baju for her every-day wear. But when she needed to travel she would put on her Sunday best:- sarong starched so crisp that it crackled when she wore it; and she would not sit down after putting it on because it would crease and stick out in front (a very funny sight) . Her top would be the best kebaya with embroidery on the edges and she would fasten this with a krosang.. a set of three brooches attached together by a chain.. this is now a coverted collectible. She would also fasten her sarong with a silver belt that had an ornate buckle.. also a collectible item.
She usually stayed with Uncle Ah Pek but would spend about three months in a year with us... Every morning she would do her excercise.. Face the window, which happened to face east, raised her arms and bend forward.. looked like she's praying to the Sun-God! Then she would rotate her arms round and round.. looked like she's trying to take off!! Very Funny!!
She was my grandfather's second wife.. I don't know what happened to the first wife, all I know was that there were two daughters. Mama gave birth to 3rd Auntie, the Uncle Ah Pek, then 4th Auntie, 5th Auntie, 6th Auntie, 7th Auntie, 8th Auntie, then came Father... I guess they wanted more than one son.
Now all these children were married by the time Mama passed away (in 1978) at the ripe old age of 89 years.. Can't say that we missed her or were sad or shocked that she died.. She was old! and she had more than 50 grandchildren and quite a lot of great-grandchildren.. we lost count!
So why am I telling all this?? One of the funeral rites that was performed involved all the descendents going over a "bridge" in rank and file... oldest son Ah Pek first; second son (my) Father; oldest grandson Robert; 1st daughter-in-law; 2nd daughter-in-law; then daughters; then son-in-laws; then grandchildren; then great-grandchildren... you get the picture.. Now if all of us were to fall in line and follow the monks and go over the "bridge".. it would take forever.. there's more than a hundred... so we opted to just get representatives.. still there were more than 50 people in the line!! My cousin and I were counting!
On the day of the funeral, there was this band that played Chinese music and somehow they managed to massacre all the tunes... This wasn't the worst part of it.. The funeral was held in the void deck and it was hot because there were a lot of banners and blankets strung up and blocking whatever breeze there was.. And the older group of people (sons, daughters, son-in-laws, daughter-in-laws) had to wear extra clothing that's like burlap.. itchy and hot... BUT to top it all.. there were the gongs-and-cymbals group that came and CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG for more than 20 minutes!! Together with the reverberation... it was the longest torture.... I think that's why I'm partially deaf now! My father's face was like Justice Bao.. Black!
After that, the coffin was loaded onto the hearse and the clanging resumed so that the whole neighbourhood can come out to watch and see how grand the funeral was!!

Another "grand" funeral I attended was for the father of one of my trainees... This was in 1976 or 77... it was the first wake I attended as an adult and silly me did not know what to do... I went to the wrong end of the tent and lit joss-sticks to the dieties instead of paying my respects to the deceased.. Anyway I sat with the other trainees that were there and left about an hour later... On the day of the funeral, the other trainees had asked for permission to attend and I was ordered to go with them.. to make sure that they were not "skiving".. So there we were, a whole bunch of people in uniform and the "funeral directors" knew an opportunity when they see one... They got all of us in front of the hearse, holding on to 2 ropes that was attached to the sides of the hearse... it looked like we were pulling the vehicle... and with all the clanging, everybody came out to look and they all went WAAHH... The best part of this story is that the funeral started off at Bras Basah Road, then turn into Desker Road... All the prostitutes poked their heads out to see the young men in uniform... A few of the trainees tried to hide their faces!! Hahaha!!
BOOM! CHAKALAKA BOOM! BOOM!