Infidelity

Rated PG : My 2 girls were conceived the natural way and they came into the world the natural way. They were not found in the drain or the dustbin.
Again, the Oprah show had me thinking about my relationship with my husband. On this particular episode, there was this guy who had cheated on his wife for 15 years and he finally admitted his infidelity. Still his wife stayed with him (which upset one younger woman in the audience who questioned her decision) and Oprah said that it was her choice given her other options which was to leave him and live the rest of her life without a soul-mate or find herself another man who might do the same. And since he admitted to the affair, he probably got tired of it anyway. Then there's another couple where the woman blamed herself for her husband straying, saying she neglected him over her career and her baby. But she doesn't care if he continued to have physical relationships outside of their marriage but not the emotional kind.
This brought to mind my relationship with my husband. If you have read the past few installments you might have gathered that I don't sleep in the same house as my husband these days. So you might ask what about the physical part. Well, I can only say that our bodies had been "conditioned". We got married in1980 and you know what they say ... that when you are a certain age you do it twice a day, then as you grow older it's once a day, then once every other day.. etc, etc.. In 1991 (after 10 years of marriage), we had gone through all those stages and were sort of at the once a week phase, when hubby was assigned overseas for one month, come back for a week and go again. That was tense but after a few months we were "conditioned". After about 3 years he was back in Singapore but we became a once a month couple.
Then hubby changed jobs and this time he was assigned overseas for 3 months at a time and we were "conditioned" yet again. After 6 years of that he came back but it doesn't even matter if we don't hold hands anymore. I don't know if he was ever unfaithful to me when he was overseas but it doesn't matter if he was.. He's there, miles away, if he needed relief then there shouldn't be any blame but if it was of the emotional kind, then that's another matter altogether.
Lately, hubby has found himself a "boy-friend" who he could talk to and I think they are not just talking about the weather and sports. This "boy-friend" is a twice divorce guy with 2 kids and he see my husband more than I do .Just the other day, hubby returned from an overseas trip. On the way home, he called me to ask if I can join him for lunch at the neighbourhood coffee-shop. He called me only because he know that the "boy-friend" is not available on Saturday. So I met hubby at 1p.m. for lunch, stayed till about 2.30p.m. (trapped by a heavy downpour) and then when the rain stopped, I went to tar-pow lunch for CMW. While waiting, hubby called the "b-f" and despite my telling him that I want to eat char kway teow later, he still made dinner plans. Hubby likes the char kway teow at Margaret Drive, but he prefer dinner with "b-f" although he did say that he ate the Penang version while overseas. Still...
At about 3p.m., hubby received a call from "b-f" and was leaving the house when I made a joking remark : "Wah, see me for less than 2 hours, now going to meet boy-friend, 3o'clock till dinner time!" He replied: "Jealous ah?"
JEALOUS?? Not me. If I was jealous, I wouldn't look the way I do. I would look like Cindy Crawford or Elle McPherson or maybe even Oprah. She was heavier than I ever was and now she looked great. I'm not jealous - just a bit upset and concerned.. that my husband prefer to spend time with a guy and I wondered what they talk about.. I've sensed some changes in hubby's attitute towards women and children.. he's been passing quite a few degrading remarks about women and refers to all women as bitches, forgetting that he has two daughters and a wife.. This is probably influence from the "b-f".. I could gripe and complain and it's getting worse.. now he has become obnoxious - an opinion I shared with CMW.. This could be grounds for divorce...irreconciliable differences.. But we are not headed that way.. I just couldn't be bothered..